"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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