Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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