In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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