He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
