I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
