Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
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Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
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He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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