Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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