why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
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