I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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