i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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