Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
