I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Randomize
