yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
