belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my phone needs a breathalizer
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
