Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
