Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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