remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
he had hair everywhere except his balls
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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