you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
