i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And my parents said I crawled through the house
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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