i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
