You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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