mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
