i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
