i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
