my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
