A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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