Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
