i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
