I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
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