whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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