we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
