i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
