from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
