She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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