When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
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You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
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Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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