I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
oh god the rape fog is back!
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
that is very illegal...i love you.
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