Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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