i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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