hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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