So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
