Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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