In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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