ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
