definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
