If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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