i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
as a side note pls kill me
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
