U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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