Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize