honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
