I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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