I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
