we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
