You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
