The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
