My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
