Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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