I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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