what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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