i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
