i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
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Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I want to fling myself into the sun
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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