Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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