Sponge bath it is.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
