She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
