It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm getting married
To pizza
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
