guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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